September is almost over

Can you believe it? In just a few days it will be October. This month has just flown by. I have lots to write about today so please excuse the extra long post.
I went to Virginia to visit an old friend last weekend. I promised her I would come for a visit as soon as I could fit in the airplane seat. I have to tell you that I did it, I didn’t need a seatbelt extender and I wasn’t hanging over into the seat next to me. In situations like that I always felt like I was taking up too much space and invading other people’s space.

My trip started off terrible. I left my house and drove to the airport with plenty of time allotted for parking in the long term parking lot and taking the shuttle to the airport. I was at the airport and through security in much less time then I anticipated it would take. As I was having a cup of coffee I got a call from my oldest daughter, she was in the hospital with my grandson who had been throwing up all night. He started getting sick at 10pm and at 4:30am my daughter drove him to the ER. They were doing tests when she called me.

She told them at the ER that she wanted them to check him for an intersussception, (this is a type of bowel obstruction, which occurs when the bowel telescopes in onto itself) the doctors told her that it was most likely a stomach bug but she was very insistent that they PLEASE check. My daughter knows about interssusception because her sister, my second child, died from this in 1988. It was misdiagnosed as a stomach bug and after being sick for just 2 days and after 4 trips to the pediatrician she died at home on the living room floor.

My daughter was able to finally talk the doctor into doing the x-ray and ultra sound to check and they found that he did in fact have an intersussception. They would need to do a procedure to try and correct the problem, if that didn’t work they would have to do surgery.

I am in the airport with my flight about to leave and I am text messaging back and forth with my daughter and husband about the baby’s progress. I was so worried about what was going on. I was however pretty sure that he would be okay. The doctors had listened to my daughter and did the appropriate tests; they found the problem and were working to fix it. I knew that he would be okay. I still felt pretty helpless.

It also brought back a lot of memories and feelings from 20 years ago. Why didn’t the doctors fix Amy? How did they miss it? If it’s so easy to fix with just an enema, why did she have to die? These were all the questions from 20 years ago that were never answered for me. My life changed forever that day.

My husband left work and went to the hospital to stay with the kids and to keep me up to date on what was going on. By the time my flight landed in Virginia, they had done the procedure and the intussusception had resolved, they would keep him in the hospital for 24 hours to watch to make sure it didn’t happen again. But he was already doing much better. The doctor told my daughter that it was good that she was insistent that they check for the intussusception because they would have look for a lot of other things before they looked for that and more time would have gone by which could have resulted in infections and other problems.

So needless to say the first day of my trip was not good. I just wanted to be at the hospital with my grandson and daughter. Once I heard that he was on the mend and even up eating a Popsicle I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend. My friend Cindy was really very understanding about my frustration and worry. She was a friend 20 years ago when my daughter died and knew what I was going through.

We were able to have a good visit and do some catching up. She moved down to Virginia from Massachusetts about 15 years ago and I really miss her. We hadn’t seen each other in about 4 years. Her husband was working quite a bit while I was there and her two boys have grown up so much. It was fun to sit and talk with them too. We didn’t plan a lot of sightseeing or anything, which was nice, we had time to just visit and do some shopping. It was her mom’s birthday over the weekend and her dad took all of us out to dinner on Saturday night to a nice Irish restaurant. It was good to see them too. They are real nice people.

I came home on Sunday night and got a chance to see my grandson on Monday morning, Believe it or not he was on his way back to day care. My daughter works at the day care center and both kids go with her to “school” everyday. They were at school for a few hours and Zack got fussy, so back to the doctors. He had two bad ear infections that they treated with antibiotics and by Tuesday he was back to his smiley self. All is well at their house now. Everyone is healthy and happy.

Madison spent the night at my house on Tuesday and we went to my daughter Allie’s volleyball game. They lost and they lost badly. You would have thought they had never seen a volleyball before the way they played. We got home late and didn’t even have time to go in the hot tub.

Once a year at work they have an employee recognition dinner. (Lunch really). For all employees with ten or more years here. Friday was the day. The lunch wasn’t very good but the company was. We had a good time visiting and drinking wine and beer. After the lunch we are all free to go home for the day but I had signed Madison up for swimming lessons and volunteered to take her to these lessons every Friday at 5. So I came back to my office and did a little work and just sort of hung around until my son-in-law dropped her off. We walked over to the pool at the athletic center and she had her first lesson. She is 4 ½ and already knows how to swim. She has grown up with a pool both at home and at my house. We also vacation on a lake. Mostly she learned how to swim in my hot tub. She prefers the warm water. Swim lessons were a success and she will come back next Friday.

Saturday we went to my brother-in-laws farm for dinner with my husband’s mother. She is leaving Massachusetts this week and we all went to say good-bye. I hope she has a safe trip and there is gas where she needs it. I hear that gas is an issue in the southeastern part of the country.

I have volunteered to run and organize a monthly fundraiser breakfast at church. We send about 20 kids to church camp each summer and off-set the cost of camp with a scholarship for each of the kids. Every year we scramble around trying to find as much money as we can to help as many as we can. So this breakfast idea was my way of trying to help raise money.

Sunday was the first breakfast. I had lots of help from several of the parents of kids that go to camp and even some of the kids too. It was a big success. We were able to make about $225 dollars. It would have been less but most of the food was donated from local grocery stores and a woman at the church who works in a place that does food wholesale and her distributors are very generous. We are lucky to have the resources we have.

After church my husband and I went out to do a little shopping. We bought the stuff we need to close the pool next weekend and then went and poked around at a few stores. We had a nice lunch out at our favorite restaurant and then headed home.

I didn’t lose any weight in the past two weeks. I am holding steady at about 230 pounds, I did start to use some hand weights on Saturday and my arms are killing me. I need to get back into paying attention to what I eat and getting more exercise in.

Hopefully the next week or two won’t be so busy. I do have a group of about 30 people coming for the Columbus Day holiday weekend. They bring campers and tents, we have good food, play cards, a trip to the apple orchard is in the works and I hear the very brave are going to a haunted hayride one of the nights. It will be a fun weekend but I have lots to do to get ready.

My parents leave the week after that for their winter home in Florida. (Actually a campground, where they live and work from October until April).

I miss summer. It happened so quickly this year and I didn’t get to do all that I had planned.

I'm still here

I've been lazy this week about posting. I will be back on Monday with a nice long post. Have a good weekend.

an airplane seat

Tomorrow I am going to fly down to Virginia to visit an old friend. She moved down there many years ago. I don't get to see her very often, I think the last time I saw her was 3 or 4 years ago. I drove down from MA to visit and do some sight seeing with my kids during school vacation. I told her at the beginning of the year that I was planning on having the weight loss surgery and as soon I was able to fit in an airplane seat I would come and see her.

I leave tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I am going to fit in the seat. There won't be much room to spare (they make those seats so darn small). I am leaving my hubby, daughter and mother-in-law to fend for themselves for the weekend and I am going to have one last weekend of summer. I hope the weather will still be summer like in Virginia.

I lost another 3 pounds this week and that brings my total to 104 pounds since I began the program last October and 86 pounds sine surgery in April. Hard to believe. I feel so great.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

TGIF

It's been a busy week at work and it's about to be a busy weekend. Our Pastor is going to be ordained this upcoming Sunday, tonight we have celebrating with a party. We are "roasting" the pastor, also having dinner and dancing with a DJ. She has been our pastor for about 8 years while she continued her education and got her Master's degree. It is definitely a time for celebration. I even went out and bought a new dress for the occasion. I didn't have one that wasn't way too big.

Sunday morning we have our regular services and Sunday afternoon is the actual ordination. It is not being held at our church but in a neighboring town. I am working with a group of the women at the collation (snacks and coffee/punch) after the service.

I was able to find a counselor who works with teenagers and takes my insurance. Her office isn't far from the school and she does evening appointments. She has asked to meet with me first and I will meet with her at the beginning of next week. Then she will set up an appointment with my daughter.

Yesterday I stopped at the Avenue store near where I work. For those of you don't know what "Avenue" is it's a women's clothing store that carries sizes 14 and up. I have shopped in this store all of my adult life. I was there in April picking up some underwear and got to talking with the sales person. She too was considering have the gastric by pass surgery. I told her I was going in a few days for mine. I have been in the store quite often lately because all of my clothes are too big. I like the clothes at that store. I haven't seen the salesperson that I met back in April and I thought she must not be working there anymore. She was there yesterday, when I walked up to the register... she looked up and said "Oh my god, oh my god.... look at you, you look amazing." We talked for a while and she is in the process of getting ready for the surgery. She is going through the same weight center that I did. We made plans to meet at the next surgical support group meeting. I hope it goes as well for her as it did for me. The last thing she said to me.... I"I can't believe it.... you look like Barbie", she is of course exaggerating. I have to tell you that nothing could have made me feel better about my decision to have this surgery. I finally feel like I look good, and I feel great!

1. Christmas '07 2. April '08 3. September '08

Beginning of week four

Yesterday was the beginning of week four of my mother-in-law's visit. As I said before she sleeps in her motor home in our driveway so she has her "own" place to go when she needs to. However, I need my house back, I need my privacy back, I need my life back. I'm tired.

I guess this wasn't the best week to try and wean myself off my antidepressants and anti anxiety meds... huh? I'm back on the medication and will try again later.

My mother-in-law was supposed to leave yesterday and drive about 60 miles north of here to stay with one of her other children for a while. She told us last night that she will most likely go Saturday or Sunday instead. My husband has been doing everything he can to help her get things packed up and ready for the short trip. I don't think she is feeling all that great and that is why she isn't in any hurry to leave. I mentioned this to hubby last night and I think he is pondering what should be done about that.

My youngest daughter is not happy these days. She asked me to help her find a counselor or someone she can talk to about the constant sadness she feels. Her note to me leads me to believe she is actually in a depression. I have been on the phone all morning trying to find a counselor that is taking on new patients and that will take our insurance. I reached out to the youth Pastor at church and she contacted Allie and is taking her out to dinner tonight to chat. She also gave me a list of counselors that the church has used in the past. I called the school guidance counselor and made an appointment for Allie to sit down and talk to her about her anxiety about school, applying for colleges, Sat's and all the the things that she tells me are overwhelming her at school. I am hopeful that we will find the help she needs to feel better.

My grandsons 1st birthday party was on Sunday. He is just the cutest little kid. Always smiling and happy. The weather was great and everyone had a nice time. My daughter had the party at the campground where they were staying. The little kids all had fun playing in the water and at the playground.

Last night I went to my support group meeting at the weight center and I weighed 234 pounds. I was the same this morning on my home scale. I was glad to see that I had lost 3 pounds this week. I was sort of surprised because we have been eating more and more often with mother-in-law at the house. I feel like I need to be making a real dinner each night. When we don't have company I may cook once or twice a week and the other nights we have leftovers, sandwiches, or a salad. I don't eat that much and I'm not at all interested in cooking and cleaning up when I get home at 6:30 in the evening. I just want to relax.

Will write more later about youngest daughter and my efforts to find her a counselor, my mother-in-laws departure, and party plans for the weekend.

unofficial end of summer

It's Tuesday again. It is the unofficial beginning of fall and the school semester here at the college where I work. We are back on regular hours, 8:30 to 5; our summer hours are 8 to 4:30. It's nice getting out of work just a few minutes early to spend a few extra minutes in the good weather. Now that I am in the habit of coming in for 8:00am I will continue to do so for a while.

I keep one of those bag chairs in the back seat of my car. I haven't taken it our much this summer but today I decided to take it out and sit outside for my lunch break and read a little of my book. IT was wonderful and I hated coming back in to work. The sun felt like a warm blanket and I was so comfortable. I think I will do that again tomorrow if the weather permits. I usually have lunch at my desk while I continue to work. I think it will be good for me to get of my office for a bit of time each day.

I didn't lose much weight at all this week. I haven't' been eating bad or making poor choices the weight just isn't coming off. I have increased my walking to two times a day. I walk for about 45 minutes in the morning and then again after work I do the same. I still haven't started doing anything with weights, (other than buying some 3 and 5 pound dumbbells and carrying them home from the store). I don't think that counts.

This morning I weighed 237 pounds. Just one pound down from last week. Still beats the heck out of the 335 pounds I weighed about one year ago. I bought a pair of size 16 slacks and they fit. Most of the bands I have to buy size 18 still but I was pretty happy with the 16's.

My daughter made the Varsity Volleyball team at school and her first game is tomorrow afternoon. I am going to leave work a little early to go and watch the game. She seems to really like it; even though her forearms are all black and blue. I am looking forward to seeing them play. My granddaughter is going to come with me and then come home to spend the night. I will bring her home on my way to walk on Thursday morning and then her mom will take her to school.

My mother-in-law is still at our house and things are going okay. Last night her and my husband got into a disagreement and things were pretty intense. She decided to go out to her motor home to read and he went to bed at 8PM. I was so glad I rushed home from work to spend the evening with them, NOT.

Tonight I am not going to make that mistake again. I am going to walk for 45 minutes in the cemetery near my daughters house and then I am going to stop at the mall and pick up some protein supplements, after that I need to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things and then I will head home. All of those things I would have done last night had I known I was going to be sitting alone watching TV at 8pm.

I really don't like conflict at all. I go to extremes to avoid it. I gives me a stomach ache.